Kindness is A Choice
Discussing leadership, we often overlook kindness, focusing more on power and wealth. Yet in reality, the leaders who leave a lasting impact are the ones who choose humanity over dominance. If you want to be remembered well, kindness is a choice for you to make. People often have this notion that harshness is a necessary ingredient for success. I disagree. You can still achieve what you want by being kind. Itʼs just a matter of choice. You may choose to be an asshole or someone people like. And that choice, especially when things get difficult, quietly defines your leadership far more than any title or achievement ever will.
Many times throughout my life, I could have been kinder. It’s not just professionally but in my personal life too. In fact, I’m often better behaved at work than at home. This post is more a reminder to myself than anything else: kindness is a choice I make every day, and one I want to keep choosing even when it’s hard.
A Leadership Choice
A little bit of kindness brings more kindness. When you are kind, you influence others to be kind. Imagine leading with a heart full of empathy and an understanding mind. You can then turn the workplace into a thriving, positive space. It’s about choosing to lead with a kind touch, which, believe it or not, ramps up your leadership game! Kindness creates trust. Trust then accelerates everything from decision-making to collaboration.
“You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”
In leadership, this isn’t just a saying. It can be your strategy. When people feel safe around you, they take more risks, speak more openly, and bring you problems early instead of hiding them. Small acts of kindness compound, creating a culture where people don’t just work for you, they work with you.
The Misconception of Unkindness
There’s a prevalent misconception that to be successful, one must be tough, even at the expense of kindness. However, success and kindness are not mutually exclusive. In fact, I actually think leaders who rely on intimidation usually create short-term compliance. It’s never a long-term impact.
People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Maya Angelou
Kindness leaves your mark in the realm of leadership. It gently reminds us that success doesn’t demand harshness or insensitivity. It shows that strength and compassion can coexist and when they do, people perform at their best. It brings a legacy that you can be proud of. Because at the end of the day, people remember how you led them far more than what you led them through.
Case Studies
Considering the leadership styles of Steve Jobs, Linus Torvalds, and Gordon Ramsay, it’s compelling to think they might have achieved even greater success with a kinder approach. Jobs’ drive led to technological breakthroughs. I believe a more empathetic style could have inspired creative collaboration. Torvalds, pivotal in the open-source community, could have perhaps drawn a wider array of contributions with a gentler, more inclusive leadership. Lastly, Ramsay built a reputation for harshness. He might have been even more impactful if he balanced with nurturing guidance. It would create a more supportive environment for aspiring chefs. These leaders were undeniably effective, but their intensity often limited the psychological safety of the teams around them.
I think kindness in leadership doesn’t just maintain success. It acts like a catalyst. It creates conditions for a greater collaboration and innovation. Teams think more boldly, share ideas more freely, and recover from failure faster.
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Mark Twain
In leadership, as in life, one is never too important to be kind. It’s not only about reaching the top but also about lifting others as we climb. Our measure of success lies not just in our achievements, but in the positive difference we make in the lives of others. Being kind is our legacy. It’s the part of leadership that outlives us.